Years ago, there were some bachelors living in my stepfather’s house somewhere in Lagos, Nigeria, and one of them openly slapped his girlfriend for whatever reason. As a teenager, I knew that it would continue unless something was done. And of course, the slaps and beatings became a regular occurrence. I remember asking one of my sisters if it was right. They were diplomatic with their answers.
I also remember telling a police officer who happened to be a friend of the family, and he simply dismissed it as the norm back then.
Now, domestic violence and emotional abuse are prevalent around the globe. The red flag that most people in love fail to recognize is their spouse’s temperament. The way they react and manage issues will determine whether to call it quits or not.
If anyone in a relationship slaps you once or twice, it is a red flag that it will continue forever if care is not taken. I guess the Nigerian police would term it a civil case, while in Canada, even if it is reported, as long as the couple keeps hiding the facts, the police won’t be able to do anything.
Anyway, when you are inflicted with bodily injuries and threats to life by your spouse, no one needs to tell you to walk away from this abusive marriage or relationship. If there are several emotional, verbal, and physical gbasgbos (punches and beatings) going on, the best bet is to leave.
Life is too short to die like a chicken. There is a saying in Yoruba: “Anybody who gets hit by a moving car will not be awake to write down the plate number.”
There are numerous friendly narcissists walking freely, carrying their childhood trauma like baggage. Most of them do not even know that they need a therapist to walk them through that journey.
If you are in a relationship, friendship, or marriage, and that friend or spouse never sees anything good in you except to put you down so that you develop low self-esteem, it’s time to leave. Any relationship that is one-sided, with no forgiveness regardless of what may have transpired, and where the spouse keeps repeating incidents that should have long been forgotten, is a relationship to move on from.
If domestic violence becomes too much to handle, call the police. It is better to stay alive than to die, especially when the other person always threatens you. Only a mad person jumps in front of a speeding train. Learn to decipher the signs and know the best route to take.
Above all, ensure that you book an appointment with a therapist.