Uncontrollable One Eyed Snake
There are few friends who you may not have spoken to in the last couple of months due to busy schedule and once opportunity permits the conversation become mutual and it would seem like there was never a break.
Abefe, one of my friends called yours truly at about 2AM Eastern Time during the week (Nigeria’s 7AM), which coincided with your break time as you work permanent nights now.
You exchanged banters and all of a sudden she said, ‘‘Iyalaje’’. (Your chieftaincy title).
Abefe would only call yours truly by that title if for a serious talk and you called her name in a comic musical way.
“Shoot”, you heard yourself saying on phone.
“Nkan mbe (Strange things), do you know our younger colleague, (she mentioned a young chap who grew from grass to grace and now has a PhD) asked my daughter to get down with him”.
“It’s a lie!” You shouted.
She responded calmly with “Auzubi true”, (Bastardised version of Auzubillah minashaitan nirajeem, meaning, I seek refuge in Allah from the outcast Shaitan).
You began to mentally calculate the age difference between the young chap and your friend’s daughter.
“Do you know that he even lied to your daughter about a job posting in Abuja that she should meet him at Transcorp Hilton where the supposed interview would hold but not before taking my daughter to where he was building his god forsaken mansion. Money stolen from government and thinking that he has arrived. May his peace be taken away and his prayers never answered because of his uncontrollable one eyed snake. He didn’t mean well for my daughter. He wants to chop and clean mouth. May whatever he hold esteem fall apart in Jesus name!”
Of course you can relate to the agony of a mother especially where their priceless daughters are involved. Some men could not even take their eyes off anything skirt especially once their one eyed snake rears its head. No self control. Cultural and traditions have been carpeted.
The young chap in question belongs to a strong Muslim group, prays five times daily, as little as you know while in Nigeria. He was happily married to a beautiful muslim sister, of which Abefe and yours truly attended the wedding and even doled out souvenirs. The young chaps had four children in quick succession and see what the anguish the money miss road (noveau rich) has caused your Abefe.
Your friend used another 10 long minutes to curse and curse the young chap.
“Abefe, have you called this guy to order”, you asked.
“When it’s time, it would be the scandal of the year because my daughter took pictures. And even people who don’t know him will cry for him. I swear”. She retorted hotly
“Ha! Jebure, awo olugbebe. (Pleaded the traditional way).”But Can I ask some questions?”
“Yes please”. Yours sincerely asked questions bothering over her daughter’s dress sense, chastity and other stuff that could warrant such attractions. And only got several NO’s.
“Abefe, hand over everything to God in judgment and let him plead your cause”.
“Iyalaje!” She yelled on phone.” What happened, you have become so gentle? Hand everything over to God? Coming from you? Erelu? What has Canada done to my friend? You that locked your landlord up for tampering with your meter and you asked me to hand over to God?”
“Stop sounding like a broken record Abefe. You can’t fight this battle alone. You need GOD. Let me tell you a story my mother once told me, a hawk came to pick a chick and when he got home. His mother asked him, what was the reaction of the chick’s mother, he replied that the mother just stood and watch without putting up a fight. The Hawk’s mother screamed and said, return that chick immediately. Such Mothers are dangerous but only take those ones who would run and throw tantrums because that would be their best fight. Invariably, leave judgment to God, Abefe”.
Abefe yelled, cried and cursed until sanity prevaiĺed.And she concurred.
The truth lies in the fact that most mothers are angry with men who cannot tuck in their libido by controlling their one eyed snake and try to penetrate anything in skirt. Karma is surely knocking on the door.
See you next Sunday